Divorce

We discussed the topic of divorce and came across some interesting statistics.  70% of divorced couples 2 years later said they probably could have saved their married and they realize they probably should have.  70% of men are remarried after 2 years of being divorced and woman are less likely to remarry rapidly.  The last bit of information was that the majority of people who had an affair don’t get a divorce.  All of these statistics jumped out to me.  Divorce is such a common occurrence in our society today and when many people get married they have the idea that if anything goes wrong there is divorce and that’s ok.  I think that these statistics should be shown to couples before they get married so that they may have the thought in their mind that if times get rough they should try their hardest to push through and actually work the problem out.  We talked about one of the causes being that couple’s first stop being intimate or have intimacy problems but don’t share that and then other problems start to pile up.  A marriage should be built up so that anything can be talked about.  If you can’t talk to one another about your intimacy than you should be reevaluating other parts of the marriage and try to become closer so it is easier to discuss.

seeking council

We talked about appropriate strategies to seeking counsel with our spouses and families.  First we went over the way the 1^st presidency counsels.  They go to the temple every Thursday and go through a process of steps.  They express love and appreciation, pray and invite the spirit, discuss to consensus, recognize the Lord’s will, and end with a prayer.  We can have the same type of counsel and receive the inspiration and revelation we need when we invite the Lord.  When we are discussing with our family it is important to keep in mind that despite what everyone says each person has the right to their opinion and we shouldn’t down play them.  This is a great process to establish and have within the family.

seeking council

We talked about appropriate strategies to seeking counsel with our spouses and families.  First we went over the way the 1^st presidency counsels.  They go to the temple every Thursday and go through a process of steps.  They express love and appreciation, pray and invite the spirit, discuss to consensus, recognize the Lord’s will, and end with a prayer.  We can have the same type of counsel and receive the inspiration and revelation we need when we invite the Lord.  When we are discussing with our family it is important to keep in mind that despite what everyone says each person has the right to their opinion and we shouldn’t down play them.  This is a great process to establish and have within the family.

Discussing Intimacy

We talked about the trends that are occurring in our society when it comes to having knowledge about intimacy.  It seems that parents are becoming less involved with knowing basic information and sharing it with their children.  There are more sexual education classes that may be promoting different views than the ones we believe in.  The world just believes in “safe sex” and says knowing that is enough.  Also, most teenagers and preteens seem to be getting most of their information from their peers.  All of these can lead to kids having the wrong information or not understanding properly.  Parents need to just open up and establish a base with their kids on this level and talk to them about intimacy.  Parents also need to be informed themselves because there are new slang words and new intimacy things that each generation comes up with. 

Dating

Dating is a very lose term now days.  We decided that it meant to participate in a variety of activities with a variety of people.  There is a proper process people should go through to result in a healthier marriage.  That is first people should date and then if you find one person you want to pursue to take it to courtship and then comes the engagement and then the marriage.  Along with that is the relationship attachment model which has 5 parts that go in order.  First you should know someone, then learn to trust them, then you can rely on them, then commitments can be made, and lastly touch can play a part in the picture.  If you can’t trust someone then you shouldn’t rely on then or commit to them or have physical moments with them.  One step should not come before the other and in our society it seems that physical touch is most out of whack.  People meet one another and soon they are making out and doing more and they don’t even know the person.  This just results in danger and emotional instability.  When it comes to dating we should follow this model.

Gender Differences

We talked about how no matter what there are just differences between men and woman.  Woman are more emotional and like to express their emotions.  They are verbal and more observant.  Woman are more detail oriented and relationship oriented and are more cooperative.  Men have more upper body strength and like spatial orientation.  They have protective instincts with can make them more aggressive.  Men are typically more competitive and focus on 1 thing at a time, but are able to switch gears when a new activity or idea comes up.  These differences are not bad or wrong but they are just part of who we are and are part of our eternal identities.  People may try to change them and disagree with them but this is who we are.  When men and women come together they balance one another out because men have things that women don’t have and women have characteristics that men don’t have.

Women in the work force

We talked about women being out in the work force.  During WWII I believe it was that many women had to go out and work because their husbands were out fighting for our country.  Then when the men returned the woman didn’t want to give up their jobs.  Many woman today don’t want to be stay at home moms and they want to be out in the work force.  So families then have to pay for the expense of getting a care taker and putting them in school while they are at work and the family needs to have transportation for both the mother and father.  They may also be putting in expenses in many other places as a result of both parents working.  Often times families are creating more expenses and spending more than if one parent was just working.  There was one case where a family was actually paying for the wife to work once they took a look at all the expenses.  Before jumping in to a job women should really discuss it with their families and find out if they need to work and bring in money or if it would cause unnecessary expenses and be harder on the family.