January 21st - January 25

This last week in family relations we talked about family boundaries.  There are 3 specific types of boundaries but the great thing about them is that no matter what stage we are at in our life they can apply.  Even though we may not all be married, we all have families and friends in which we can work on our relationships with. 

1.Disconnected Boundary
This is when the relationship is too clear and cut off.  For example if you have a family member that you live with but you never talk to.  They are in your life but there is very little interaction or knowledge of what is going on in their life.
2. Diffuse Boundary
This is when there is too much interaction for the relationship to be healthy.  It is unclear where the boundary is because there is such a tense and close connection.  An example might be that a daughter might have to turn to her parents constantly.  She can't make any decisions on her own and has to constantly confide and talk with her parents.  The relationship is so close that it is unheathly.  She is in no way independent and her parents aren't doing her any good by continually coaching her along.  This can cause a big issue when she decides to get married.  Once she does she will have her husband to turn to and discuss life with but she will turn to her parents.  This will cause a great deal of issues between her and her spouse.
3. Clear Boundaries
This is the last boundary which is a balance between the first two.  This would be that you are involved in your family members life and know what is going on, but at the same time you give them space.  This boundary takes trust because you talk about what is going on and then let things happen and trust that it was what had been discussed.  This is the most healthy relationship.  A person can be independent but have people to turn to and people that are actively involved in their life while allowing them to make their own decisions.
It is important to look at your life and see what kind of relationships you have.  We can improve our relationships and make them last longer and become stronger if we can move towards having clear boundaries. 

I look forward to getting more into the topics that family relations has to offer and learning a great deal that I can look back on and still use.